I pulled up at the curb right outside his restaurant, and big Steve (that’s what everybody called him) with all 6‘4“ of his football lineman barrel chested frame, squeezed himself into the passenger side of my little ‘65 Volkswagen bug. I fired up the bug, the radio came to life and I pulled away. Once on our way I turned the tunes down a little in volume, so we could talk. I started with small talk with Steve. But he would not respond. The further we drove the more Steve shrunk into his seat and looked out the window becoming detached. The color drained from his face, and it was obvious that he was more and more uncomfortable. I finally asked straight out, “Steve, whats wrong? Are you doing okay?”

I slowed the car down and tried to encourage him again.“Seriously, you can tell me what’s going on.”

Finally after some weird silence he said, “Pastor, this is really very uncomfortable for me.” 

I couldn’t put my finger on what was so troubling him. What was he concerned about? I could see he was searching for the right words and thoughts so as not to offend or jeopardize our new friendship.  Finally, after a few minutes of awkward silence, the damn completely broke. “Pastor Mark,”  he said with deepest respect and emotion, “I just can’t listen to this music. It brings up all kinds of bad images, thoughts, and stuff. Like this song playing right now reminds me of a time I was out getting loaded with a bunch of friends. We would listen to that song as we partied. The song that was playing before this one actually brought back memories of having sex and smoking pot. I am sorry. I really can’t do this right now.”  

I was cut to the core.

I immediately turned off the radio. I then spoke clearly and honestly. “Steve, that will never happen again, I am so sorry that I’ve caused you to be upset by my listening to the music. I am sorry that brought up all that trash from your past. Please forgive me. I really appreciate you making me aware of your feelings and thoughts.” 

My personal preference of the oldies music that played on the radio, which I don’t have a problem enjoying, had caused a new follower of Christ to be offended.

Our personal convictions and preferences always submit to the core of the gospel, which is love. 

And doing so takes a healthy dose of the work of the Holy Spirit when engaging with others, to be aware, sensitive and humble so as to honor and prefer them. 

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Rom. 12:10 

Is this not the heart of the Gospel: Christ came not to be served but to serve and to lay down his life for many. To place others above yourself. As we do life with others, may more and more of our encounters with people have the sweet taste of his grace remaining and being deposited into the hearts around us.