Quick Slow Slow

When we enter into a conversation with another person, we all come with some preset expectations and values in our minds. It’s called a “cognitive bias.” How then can we set those things aside and truly show interest in the other person which provides validation, approval and builds a bridge for meaningful friendships?  This is Christlike behavior and fosters grace and love in any relationship, in marriage, in a family, with young adults and grandkids, and even when desiring to share the gospel. 

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19

Here is a key principle of safe and effective communication: Quick - Slow - Slow

You notice there’s only one quick and that’s to listen. To foster an environment of trust and respect we need to slow down our cognitive bias and seek to listen first. Through changing our mindset to being quick to listen, we choose to set aside a “me first” mentality and seek the interest of the other. Building trust. 

One way that helps me accomplish this, is to focus my mind as I enter into a conversation with the following foundation: I’m going to be curious. Curiosity breaks the cognitive bias and releases a joy in finding out what is really transpiring in the heart and mind of the other person. The one whom you’re conversing with will pick up on this attitude quickly. They will realize that you care and want to learn more about them. This leads to increasing trust, and bridges of understanding and respect being built. Be curious with people and see where the Holy Spirit takes the conversation, and I wouldn’t be surprised you’ll enjoy better friendships and discover more of his Spirit already at work.