Tentacles

The sea anemone is an ocean creature living its life in one place on the floor of the sea. Using its tentacles it feeds on plankton and small fish. When a foreign object or threat is encountered, this small creature closes. They withdraw, pulling back the opennings of their tentacles and sealing themselves for self-preservation. Just like a sea anemone, when people feel attacked, misunderstood, or unheard, they shut down.  

In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Phil. 2:3,4

In our friendships and families, the individuals that comprise those relationships function like sea anemones. They open up through healthy and safe environments. One of the best ways to create this atmosphere of health is through conversations and interactions which are based in seeking to know their interests. And that takes a heart of humility.  Humility says I will place my need and desires aside to hear the values, fears, concerns, hopes, dreams, pains of another. That’s creating a pathway of trust. This process has been stated in the following principle: “Seek to understand before you’re understood.”

Imagine with me for a moment what would happen if this was the spirit we fostered in our marriage, with our teenagers, our community, neighbors and church family. The first thing quite noticeable would be many fewermisunderstandings and conflicts. And then we would have more time and energy to have fun doing life and kingdom things together. Let’s slow down long enough this week to seek to understand the other person’s interests and values, or where they’re hurting or challenged. Let’s walk in humility and offer those we love a place of safety and trust. Doesn’t everybody want a friend like that?